Value yourself as a woman as you live and love. That has always been my adage in life and especially in relationships.
Below are seven things I have learned as I make my way in adulthood and marriage, from my own personal experiences and those of friends. My life is definitely far from perfect, but I do believe it’s been an awesome ride thus far!
1. Take care of yourself.
Inside and outside. Read, meditate, pray, talk to friends. Exercise, get mani-pedis, shop for flattering clothes. Doesn’t matter how old or how young you are, what your sexual preference is, or if you are married/single/it’s complicated/whatever.
2. Keep in touch with your “old” family.
Some women get too engrossed with husbands and kids and forget about their mums, dads, sibs, etc. Even as we get older, some of the most valuable lessons are learned from our elders, sisters and brothers.
3. Maintain a circle of your OWN friends.
Stay in close touch with your “girls and boys,” you know, those who were with you even before you met The One. Some women get too absorbed in romantic relationships and forget about their friends. And, yes, most friendships last longer than most romances. And, remember, your partner’s friends are their friends to begin with, not yours.
4. Save and invest ON YOUR OWN.
You gotta have your own money and your own property, no matter how serious your relationship is, how committed you are and how many kids you’ve got. No matter how small, you gotta have something ALL YOUR OWN.
5. Cultivate your own opinion.
If you disagree with your partner and even your kids, by all means, speak up! Sometimes people need your perspective to make an informed decision.
6. Never lose yourself.
Your creativity, your spirit, your intellect. If these get stumped out, then what the heck are you doing there? Killing yourself softly?
7. Address possible hindrances in relationships early on.
For instance, if you suspect a third party, confront your partner and voice your suspicions. Don’t allow time to make your doubts worsen and ruin the relationship. Better to be paranoid than sorry in this case, since women have a special intuition on such things! Talk about problems. It’s better to fight early, than wake up one day and realize everyone has shit all over you.